At a certain age, the child begins to ask questions about how he/she came into the world, how he/she was born and who his/her ancestors were. Many adoptees claim they don’t have a clear identity and don’t really know who they are. I like to use the term "the search for the missing piece in the puzzle of our lives”. The content of the child’s questions in this search isn’t even that important. What matters is that the child is able to ask them and the way they are being answered. Questions like these can be very difficult for the adoptive parents, especially if they aren’t prepared for them, don’t have enough information on the biological family or simply believe the subject isn’t appropriate or relevant. Children should be given the opportunity to clarify past events and then re-explain from the present point of view.
The book Our very first 1095 steps offers us the opportunity to preserve the fundamental fragments of the child’s life. It constantly provides access to the child’s past, which, thanks to this book, becomes more transparent. The author has covered all the essential data regarding the child’s present and biological family. That makes it possible to record important milestones in the child’s life and in addition enrich them with our impressions and thoughts. The book will also serve as an important tool for adoptive parents. By reading it together with their child, they will be more equipped to answer his/her questions and face all of their emotions. They will be able to build the child’s life story from day one. The whole family, including the growing child, can help with collecting impressions and other material. The book is light-hearted, inviting and complete with playful illustrations. It succeeds in making us process our thoughts and reflections step by step.
I sincerely compliment author Katarina Tomšič for her courage and energy. She has turned her personal experience into a precious life gift for adopted children and their parents.
Tina Hudobivnik, B.Soc.Sc.,
CSW Kranj